Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
