i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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