what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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