it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
