im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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