I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
