some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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