wanna go halves on a baby?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
