Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lo siento on account of my penis...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
