Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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