dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have already put on my inside pants.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
