instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
