I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
