I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize