I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm at about main and main street
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
