this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
