Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
