i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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