3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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