who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
