you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
