i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
