Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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