A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
