No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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