This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
