If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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