I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think i have two assholes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
