Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If that was your dad, he is hot
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
