Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
