i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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