I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
