i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
