My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize