I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
