talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
