if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
