come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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