I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize