Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
