worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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