i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
