he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize