why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
