She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
