I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize