I think i peed on brittanys purse
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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