It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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