do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
