The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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