dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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