He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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