Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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