I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
