Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
