imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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