I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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