Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
