and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
