There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
