she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
