dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
