I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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