Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
