i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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