it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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