the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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