Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel great
I just peed on a car
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
