Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it hurts more in the daytime
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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